Beetlebottom #11

Tick Tock Clocks and Feverish Dreams

Lanky Pete woke up from a feverish dream, screaming and trying to get away from a dragon that was ripping at his back with its giant pointy claws, and then circling around to breathe fire at him from the front. 

The dragon had the face of Monty Johnson, the school principal that gave Lanky and Slim Jim a whooping yesterday.

As the dragon attacked Lanky from all, sides, the face of Monty was speaking to him in a language he had never heard before.

Lanky felt deep down, down at the bone level, that the Monty faced monster was trying to convey the most important message that Lanky would ever receive. It seemed to have the form of a warning, the most serious, life altering string of words that human ears could possibly absorb. 

And Lanky Pete couldn't understand one single syllable of the extremely important Monty dragon monster message.

Lanky Pete heard himself screaming in pain, as he tried to rise upwards from a thick and sticky fog.

The dragon attack was replaced by a gentle sounding voice. Lanky Pete felt drawn to the buttery warm voice, so calm and gentle.

Lanky Pete was in several layers of pain, from burns, cuts from broken glass, a world record hangover from shitty beer and horse tranquilizer, and the beating from Monty for stealing the donation jar.

He tried to sit up , but a gentle but firm force prevented his movements.

With all the strength that Lanky could muster, every nerve ending and muscle focused on one task, Lanky got one eye partially opened. 

Like viewing the world through a dirty old church window, Lanky saw an older man dressed in white, friendly looking, standing in what kinda looked like a bedroom.

Lanky Pete was born into a family of bottom rung white trash.

 Lanky had never seen a real, dedicated and clean bedroom before, so it was only a guess that this fancy place, and man dressed in white was a dream.

The old Doc spoke gently to the confused and writhing young man, trying to calm his patient as he returned from the abyss of horse tranquilizer hell.

As Lanky came up through the fog, he could finally string together several words that the older man was trying to say to him.

Lanky could smell the mix of sweet soap and aftershave on the man. Further back in his senses was a delicious smell of homemade stew on a stovetop, a million miles away.

When the words of the man finally all fell together in order, they were…

“ Here you go, try to sit up just a bit. Take these two little pills, they are small and easy to go down. Take this water”

Lanky Pete struggled with everything he had to lift himself up. His brain was still partially stuck in a soupy dream world, his body was racked with fire ant bites and dragon claw wounds.

Lanky got the tiny white pills to his tongue and a half swallow of cool water to wash them down.

Lanky dropped his head back down into the finest pillow he had ever felt.

In only a minute or two, Lanky started to feel a deep warmth flow through his body. The feeling came up like tidewater from his feet, legs, chest and arms. 

Finally, the warm blanket of peace and comfort seeped into Lanky's head. It felt like all of Lanky's insides were made of warm jello.

The thoughts of pain, suffering and torment fell away like clouds disappearing on a sunny summer day.

The vise that held a tight grip on Lanky's brain let go, and freed his mind to expand to all corners of the room and beyond.

Lanky fully opened his eyes, and gazed with wide eyed wonder at the man standing beside him.

Lanky thought he was saying  “Thank-you” to the man, but in fact nothing really came out of his mouth.

Sheriff Hoodsdigger Fussfutter woke up from his recliner chair slumber part way through the morning. He knew two things immediately, he had to pee, and he was powerful hungry.

When Hoodsdigger looked over at the clock ticking away on the mantle, he was confused by what he saw. How can it be 930 at night but still bright daylight outside?

How does that work?

Then slowly the idea oozed into his brainpan, that he had slept in way late on a work day.

This was going to take some explaining.

Hoodsdigger went to the fridge and took a few pulls of orange juice right from the bottle.

That seemed to partially clear the cobwebs and confusion.

Hoodsdigger gathered up his memories of finding his younger brother Abraham in the orchard field. 

Then coming across Slim Jim on the road, and Lanky Pete, on fire and bleeding. 

It wasn't totally clear in Hoodsdigger's mind that some of that might just be dreams.

Hoodsdigger phoned the hospital over in the town of Rumple, where the old Doc and his wife took Abe last night.

The nurse at the Rumple hospital, said that Abe was resting and doing just fine. The nurse paused and asked one question. “ When's the last time that boy ate? He woke up this morning and has been eating ever since”

That bit of news put Hoodsdigger at ease.

The nurse said that they were going to keep Abe for another day to fully check him over.

“ Ok, good enough” Hoodsdigger thought.

Then he phoned the Old Doc to ask about Lanky Pete's condition.

The Doc said that Lanky's burns weren't too bad, painful for sure, but not too severe. A couple areas needed bandages for a while, and the rest were under a soothing medicated ointment. Lanky's backside needed a couple stitches here and there, and half a dozen bandage dressings. Doc asked if the boy could stay over another day to make sure his recovery got off to a good start. And with that, the doctor added, could Hoodsdigger call Lanky's parents, they must be worried sick about their boy.

Sheriff Hoodsdigger knew Lanky's parents, they lived in a two room tar paper shack at the furthest edge of Beetlebottom. Number one, they didn't have a phone, number two, they probably didn't care that Lanky didn't show up at home last night.