Progress Report from the Office of the Emperor
Great success on all fronts. Success like nobody has ever seen before. Truly amazing ratings across the board. The failed state that was Canada, that underperforming, underutilized lump of land that Emperor Trump has recently acquired, is quickly becoming a crown jewel asset to the Greater American Empire. Emperor Trump has purchased the full service and sworn allegiance of the Canadian federal police previously known as the RCMP, and all the government security services for an all cash deal. Chancellor Vance told the Trump Truth Media Corporation that the purchase cost the Lower America fiefdom absolutely zero Petro dollars because of the financial genius of Emperor Trump. His Eminence used repurposed cash from the recently liberated Ontario Teachers Pension Plan to purchase the RCMP and security services. Emperor Trump delivered 25 billion dollars in newly printed Trumpistan cash to the Cold Lake Alberta military base. ( Trump Asset Management Agency took a 32 billion doll...