Update of the Moment from the Office of the Emperor

By Mike Pearson

Welcome to Upper Trumpistan, the fully ceded, subjugated and corrugated colony formerly known as the failed socialist liberal experiment, Canada.


The mostly peasant population now joyfully pays tribute of 30% of the GDP to the Superior Trumpisian Bank Fund. This tribute package includes fully monitored and throttled WiFi, but healthcare is extra at the going rate of the hour via Trump-RFK Health Systems Lottery International. The Trumpistani population has never had it so good!


The Trump Street Stock Market is taking bets on which ex- provincial territory can race to provide the largest cash tribute to the Kingdom of Emperor Trump ( patent pending, copyright registered in holding company territory of Donizvuela.)


The ex-province territory that comes in last in the race for cash tribute will be depopulated and their assets will be reassigned because they are losers.

Details will be announced on the Trump Network for Absolute Truth.


In Upper Upper Trumpistan, the small boutique oil operation formerly known as Fort McMurray is now known as Fortress Stephan Miller.


Fortress Stephan Miller ( FSM) has been expanded in size by a factor of 10 in recent times.


A non volunteer workforce of relocated and re-educated Mexican and aboriginal people has contributed greatly to the financial success of FSM in the modern Trumpian Era. All they needed was a purpose and great leadership...Emperor Trump delivered bigly in this department!


The oil pipelines that went south in the years of the failed socialist liberal regime, are now shut down and blocked shut.


The gigantic FSM oil production facilities now pump oil products directly in what was known as the Athabasca River. It's now called Conduit 1B.


The 8 million barrels per day of oil floats up Conduit 1B to Reservoir 3C... (formerly Lake Athabasca.)


From temporary storage in Reservoir 3C, the oil is floated to the Mackenzie River and deposited in the New Trump Territory Economic Zone ( formerly known as the Arctic)


At the NTTEZ, the oil is siphoned from the former Mackenzie River Delta to be mixed with harvested peat bog and burned in open air canals.


The burning of FSM oil mixed with excavated peat bog, plus a special blend of fiberglas wind turbine blades and Tesla batteries greatly speeds up the melting of long term ice, snow and permafrost in the New Trump Territory Economic Zone.


As the ice and snow recede at speeds never imagined by the failed socialist liberal regime, new golf courses and resorts are built and funded by the Russia Saudi Alliance for Peace and Love.


On the east coast of the Kingdom of Emperor Trump, the Great Lakes and the St Lawrence Seaway have been filled in to provide more space for non volunteer workers.


The failed territory formerly known as Newfoundland was completely excavated and barged away to complete the backfilling  land reclamation project. 


The failed territory formerly known as Newfoundland was found to be redundant and inconvenient by Emperor Trump's Lord of Peace and Environment, Viceroy Vladimir.

The population of the failed territory are currently unaccounted for. 

Viceroy Vladimir has promised a full investigation into the whereabouts of  those 550,000 socialist liberal peasants.


In other news, the antiquated and non functioning land area once know as " Europe" is still currently on fire. The mass conflagration is in its 5th successful year of Emperor Trump's "Operation Clean Sweep"


The Russia Saudi Alliance for Peace and Love is currently hosting the population in the secure reservations of South Sudan.

When the non volunteer workforce is required to build Trump- Vladimir East ( formerly Europe), they will be re-eductated for low cost and then depopulated when done.Thank you for your service in advance!


Further details will be released between 12am and 4am every night.


Subservience is Glory.

Show your love and dedication today with your cash or $TrumpCoin tribute payment ! Two ways to pay...you either give it to us...or we will just take it.

All Hail Emperor Trump

Send questions or comments to Upper Trumpistan asssistant manager {day shift} Kevin O'Leary or sub-assistant manager { night shift} Wayne Gretzky

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